Reconciliation with my Former Self

The bags under my eyes are probably permanent now. My eyesight is noticeably diminished. I can’t watch television anymore without subconsciously evaluating every character as though they were a potential client. Law school is ruining me. I’m okay with that.

I knew that I was bound to change during my time at NIU. However, I never would have guessed the change would happen so quickly. My soul simultaneously rejects my new self, and embraces it. My life is now one of even greater internal conflict than the life I left behind to attend school. I am in flux. I’m okay with that.

The spaces on my shelves that used to be filled with science-fiction and fantasy, have slowly been overrun by hornbooks, treatises, casebooks, and binders. Plastic collectibles have been moved to the windowsill, which would have books on it instead, if only it were larger. My bed is no longer an active space where I can lounge for a day, but rather an instrumentality of mental reinvigoration which never quite seems to see enough use. I’m okay with that.

If one more person asks why I decided to come to law school, I might give them a reason to file a well-pleaded complaint alleging battery. When a layperson uses legal terminology around me, I do my best Inigo Montoya impersonation (in my head of course). I was already sarcastic, and it’s only gotten worse. I’m okay with that.

I will never be the same. None of us will. But, there are clients all around us. Each of them needs fair representation. That’s our job…and I’m okay with that.